Posted on 4/28/2008 7:25:33 PM

NFL Furious Draft Analysis 2008 – Chiefs and Ravens Walk Away Happy

By Tim Furious

The 2008 NFL Draft Betting has come and gone, with the top-two picks going Long and the rest of the first-round panning out well for most teams. That is, however, unless you’re the Carolina Panthers. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with that team? Anyways, let’s look at the first-round, along with some chip in thoughts on where you should be putting your NFL betting dollars in our sportsbook futures. God, I miss the NFL!

1. Miami Dolphins – Jake Long (OT – Michigan)

The Dolphins finally shook last year’s draft catastrophe by signing Jake Long before the draft even got underway. Long will go a long way in anchoring a shoddy offensive line, offering both size, legitimacy and intelligence to a position that Miami sorely needed to improve on. Long was the safe pick because they are spending huge money on him, but he can play up to five positions and will certainly reward the Dolphins betting faithful this coming year.

But the acquisition of Chad Henne was huge. Nobody – especially the fans in South Beach – were happy with the pick of Beck last year. And while I personally don’t think Henne is a great quarterback, he’ll give the position some depth and he could definitely pan out and make Ted Ginn Jr. the threat he was supposed to be last year.

OVERALL GRADE: B+

2. St. Louis Rams – Chris Long (DE – Virginia)

The Rams went with the Spawn of Howie and wow what a pick. Besides looking outstanding in a suit, Long proved to be a malicious defender in the trenches who overcame a lack of size by exhibiting the same killer instinct that his father displayed decades ago. I, for one, can’t wait until Howie is gushing over his son. Now, if we could only get Road Warrior Animal in the booth for when his son plays in the NFL. And yes, make him wear the spider face paint. It’s a package deal to be honest.

Aside from the fourth-round pick of Keenan Burton at wide receiver, the Rams didn’t make too much noise otherwise. Long will help last year’s first rounder, Adam Carricker, return to his natural position at the very least. Still it’s hard to get excited about the Rams at +7500.

OVERALL GRADE: C-

3. Atlanta Falcons – Matt Ryan (QB – Boston College)

OVERALL GRADE: C+

4. Oakland Raiders – Darren McFadden (RB – Arkansas)

Al Davis got his boy, and now D-Mac can feed all 197 of his own children. Seriously, does this guy even KNOW what a condom is? Say what you will about the Peterson-McFadden comparisons, but this is the truth: Peterson was running in the NFC behind a top-3 offensive line in football. McFadden has to run in the AFC against vicious defenses, with a questionable offense. Plus he has mega competition in Michael Bush, Justin Fargas and Rhodes. Still, a great reason for the Raiders to get justifiably jacked up about this season. I wonder if Darren will get enough tickets for all his baby mommas to attend the home games. How many sections is that? One? Two? Eight?

OVERALL GRADE: B

5. Kansas City Chiefs – Glenn Dorsey (DT – LSU)

The Chiefs walked out of the draft very, very happy. Kansas walked away with Dorsey, Brandon Flowers at corner and Jamaal Charles at running-back. If there was a way to bet on the NFL futures for the 2011 season, the Chiefs would be the pick. But rebuilding in the competitive AFC West is a hard process, especially with young rooks getting demoralized on a weekly basis.

OVERALL GRADE: A

6. New York Jets – Verhon Gholston (DE – Ohio State)

They wanted McFadden. They also wanted Matt Ryan. What they got was the best overall defender in the league. This guy weight 266-pounds and run a freaking 4.67 forty time. Adding Gholston to a ridiculously (expensive) talented defensive line, will make the Jets favorable dogs in our futures, especially at +10000. Who else is ready for the quarterback race between Pennington-Clemens-Ainge?? Nobody? Great. Just making sure.

OVERALL GRADE: B-

7. New Orleans Saints – Sedrick Ellis (DT –USC)

Ellis is one of the scariest looking men in this year’s first round. The Saints must be thrilled to stack up their defense after they failed to pressure quarterbacks last year. Putting Ellis between Will Smith and Charles Grant is terrifying to think about. Great value pick here. The rest of their draft? Not so much. Not taking a running-back to shore up the position after they released Antonio Pittman will be a mystery to me.

OVERALL GRADE: C-

8. Jacksonville Jaguars – Derrick Harvey (DE – Florida)

You gave up three picks to Baltimore to get Derrick Harvey in the first-10 picks?! WHAT?!

OVERALL GRADE: D+

9. Cincinnati Bengals – Keith Rivers (OLB – USC)

He’s the best linebacker in the draft and doesn’t have a rap sheet…yet. Andre Caldwell has more potential than his wide-eyed brother at receiver, but the rest of the draft was a bust. I love Corey Lynch at safety, but the Bengals problems can’t be fixed via draft. A tazer or perhaps behavior modifying drugs would be better.

OVERALL GRADE: who cares

10. New England Patriots – Jerod Mayo (OLB – Ten)

This was the worst situation for the Patriots. But they needed to replace their aging linebacker corps since Bruschi and Junior were too busy hugging and forgot how to stop the run.

The rest of the draft was fine and all, but you’re an idiot if you’re betting against the vengeful wrath of Uncle Bill this year regardless of the draft. They’re +325 favorites in our futures.

OVERALL GRADE: C+

11. Buffalo Bills – Leodis McKelvin (CB – Troy)

McKelvin is going to be a great addition to an already scary fast defense. The front-seven is set, and now the secondary looks stronger. McKelvin is also a great runner and can add to the return game. Heads up to fantasy footballers – James Hardy is going to be a TD vulture.

OVERALL GRADE: B-

12. Denver Broncos – Ryan Clady (OT – Boise State)

Gah. Whenever the Broncos sign/draft an offensive lineman, I can’t judge them. They’ve rarely been wrong at that position so kudos to them for getting a versatile athlete. Eddie Royal could be a royal pain in the butt for defenses as a slot receiver and can spell the attention that Brandon Marshall will get. Strong draft by the Broncos, if not very unsensational.

OVERALL GRADE: C

13. Carolina Panthers – Jonathan Stewart (RB – Oregon)

I’m not even going to comment. I have nothing against Stewart but taking him at No.13 was a stretch. Carolina is such an abysmal team right now that the draft doesn’t even matter. Don’t get post-draft excitement syndrome and lump any money on the Panthers at +5000. I’ll rant about this team later, but the draft was good overall.

OVERALL GRADE: B

14. Chicago Bears – Chris Williams (OT – Vanderbilt)

So you need to improve your run-blocking and you take a guy who can’t run-block in the first round? Fantastic. Nice to see that the Bears still can’t do anything right. At least they didn’t take Andre Woodson, and man was I ready to rip them apart for that decision. Picking up Marcus Monk, a great receiver in this draft, and Earl Bennett did a lot to replace to replace Berrian. But Sexy Rexy is still tossing the skin in Chi-town so…uh…never mind. I don’t want to crash the party so soon.

OVERALL GRADE: B

15. Kansas City Chiefs – Brendan Albert (G/OT – Virginia)

2011! 2011! 2011!

16. Arizona Cardinals – Dominique Rodger-Cromartie (CB – Tenn St.)

He may be small, but man is he a monster athlete. You can’t simply grade a player like Dominique on his physical stature because he plays far beyond it. And Early Doucet as a compliment to the Boldin and Fitzgerald is scary? Well it’s scary if they find a quarterback that can stay healthy. But solid draft overall.

OVERLAL GRADE: B+

17. Detroit Lions – Gosder Cherilus (OT – Boston College)

Cherilus is going to get blown apart by any team with a half decent defensive end. Bet on it. The real key here is Kevin Smith, the running-back from UCF that nearly broke records with his stunning performance last season. Still, this is Detroit, and if last season proved anything, it’s that no Lions’ betting investor can get too excited about anything.

OVERALL GRADE: C

18. Baltimore Ravens – Joe Flaaco (QB – Delaware)

Baltimore walked away fist-pumping after the draft. They found a steal at quarterback in Joe Flaaco, a giant 6-foot-7 quarterback whose arm was torn off a Sherman Tank, and his height allows him to double as a human periscope. And Ray Rice combining forces with Willis McGahee is enough to make any team “Najeh Davenport” in their girlfriend’s closet.

They didn’t make a huge splash with the rest of their picks, but anytime you can fleece a team for three, high draft picks and still fill all the gaps you want to, you get an A.

OVERALL GRADE: A

19. Carolina Panthers – Jeff Otah (OT – Pittsburgh)

I feel like the Panthers had an “oh crap” moment when they realized they passed on Jeff Otah with the thirteenth pick. So kudos to them for screwing up a later pick to cover for a screw up they had an hour beforehand. That’s screwed up.

OVERALL GRADE: B

20. Tampa Bay Bucs – Aqib Talib (CB – Kansas)

Talib is a superb cover man, and just the meal that Gruden ordered to restore glory to an aging secondary. Talib is an angry player, who hits people like they just shot his dog. He’s perfect for Gruden, aside from his maturity problems. The Bucs also picked up some blue-chippers on the defensive and offensive lines, along with Dexter Jackson, a guy who averaged 17.0 yards per catch at Appalachian State. If he can gel at all with Joey Galloway, the Bucs are profitable underdogs in the sportsbook to win the Superbowl at +4000.

OVERALL GRADE: C+

21. Atlanta Falcons – Sam Baker (OT – USC)

Falcons fans, rejoice! Just kidding. Life for the Falcons fans sucks as usual.

22. Dallas Cowboys – Felix Jones (RB – Arkansas)

Homerun pick by the cowboys. Jones it he perfect second fiddle to Marion Barber in the backfield. That is if your second fiddle ran for 2,956 yards and 20 touchdowns on 386 carries.

Now that Mike Jenkins joins Newman, Williams and Pacman Jones in the secondary, the Cowboys literally have no flaws. The secondary was their only weakness last year, and now it’s a strength. The defense is vicious and the only concern is whether or not Jessica Simpson is going to be at the game. Because she’s hard to look at sometimes (you know, when her roots are showing. Gross.).

OVERALL GRADE: A-

23. Pittsburgh Steelers - Rashard Mendenhall (RB – Illinois)

They needed to help Willie Parker, and they did. Mendenhall is destined to be a third-down back and instantly fills a tremendous need as Parker was literally a one-man army last year. Limas Sweed at receiver is a perfect compliment to the corps that boast Santonio Holmes and Hines Ward. Tomlin wants to open this offense for Big Ben, and undoubtedly these are two key components that will help do so. It’s going to be an offensive war in the AFC North, and Pittsburgh just gave itself the added artillery it needed.

OVERALL GRADE: A-

24. Tennessee Titans – Chris Johnson (RB – East Carolina)

Great idea. Let’s take a tiny running-back when we already have forty-thousand running backs on the roster! Fantastic. Is there a future on whether they’ll take a running-back in the first next year? Because there should be. Good gracious. Nice job grabbing a receiver, by the way, Fischer. Not like you needed one or anything.

OVEALL GRADE: Uh…what do you think? Honestly?

25. Dallas Cowboys – Mike Jenkins (CB - South Florida)

Getting angry just thinking about it…

26. Houston Texans – Duane Brown (OT – Virginia Tech)

For a team that hasn’t protected a quarterback since it came in to the league, you can’t knock them for wanting to try and protect their multi-million dollar investment in Matt Schaub. Brown is a versatile athlete.

The more interesting pick here is Steve Slaton, the darting running-back from West Virginia, who should excel behind the zone-blocking scheme of Houston. The rest of Houston’s draft was very uninspiring, as is their chances this upcoming season. Yawn.

OVERALL GRADE: C

27. San Diego Chargers – Antoine Carson (CB – Arizona)

The Chargers don’t really have any glaring weaknesses, so taking the best secondary player available is a great call. Of course, they need a new quarterback, but that’s a whole other story. Jacob Hester is a great spell checker for LDT and should ease the concerns of the Chargers betting faithful now that Michael Turner is off to Atlanta.

OVERALL GRADE: C

28. Seattle Seahawks – Lawrence Jackson (DE – USC)

Count on Mike Holmgrem to screw this up. Jackson is a beast, but his burst fades fast and he trouble closing the gap. Plus he doesn’t play tight-end or receiver, a position that Seattle desperately needed to restore valor to.

OVERALL GRADE: B-

29. San Francisco 49ers – Kentwan Balmer (DT – North Carolina)

Nice, solid, safe pick for 49ers. If by “safe” you mean “we just drafted a guy who has only played well once in his entire career. Still, San Fran needed to strengthen their rushing defense and did (hopefully), while also addressing some needs in the later rounds. Can you tell how tired I’m getting from trying to slug out this article?

OVERALL GRADE: D+

30. New York Jets – Dustin Keller (TE – Purdue)

I love this pick overall, if only because it pisses of Chris Baker. You know who else is pissed, Chris Baker? Everyone who drafts you in a fantasy league thinking you’re as good as you say you are!

31. New York Giants – Kenny Phillips (S – Miami)

Overall Phillips is a great pick, and will help solidify a decent secondary. But the more interesting picks here are Mario Manningham, who is worth risk in the third round despite smoking pot (seriously, we care about this? really?) and Andre Woodson from Kentucky. The Woodson pick was more out of pity than necessity, but Manningham could be the missing cog from the Giants offense that could push them over the top. Oh wait, they won the Superbowl?! When? Last year?! Wow. We need to get the 2008-09 season rolling and fix this now.

OVERALL GRADE: C+

For More 2008 NFL Draft Results And Information Click Here!

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