posted February 21, 2008 at 18:02 in Other Articles

“Saturday’s Razzie Awards Provide Betting Opportunities - - Seriously!”

A true BetUS gambler will lay real money down on anything - - well, anything that BetUS offers, right? More importantly, if you are willing to put some duckets on whether or not the Big Shaqtus will help or hurt the Phoenix Suns, then you should be willing to put money on whether or not the train wreck that is Lindsay Lohan will take out the let’s take the feminist movement back forty years train wreck that is Diane Keaton.

So, without further adieu – or a dud - - here are my BetUS picks for the Razzie Awards which will be handed-out about twenty-four hours before the Oscars. And, yes, Becky, I will be placing real money on these awards! Ha!

Worst Actor of the Year:

Jim Carrey, at BetUS odds of + 800 for his fantastically drab performance in The Number 23, should win hands down. Why? Well, he played the world’s deepest and most troubled dog-catcher. He also tried and that should count for something, right? But, good old Jimmy won’t win. Nope, I truly think that Eddie Murphy at BetUS odds of + 130 takes home the prize. To spend hours getting into that terrible fat suit and then going out there and acting that badly? Man, that takes heart, Eddie, true, true heart. Nic Cage is either awesomely bad or awesomely great in everything he does. It’s hard to tell at times, but he doesn’t deserve an award for it, and Adam Sadler was playing himself in the Chuck and Larry movie. Cuba Gooding Jr. just has a bad agent. Not going to knock the guy for that.

Free Pick: Eddie Murphy in Norbit

Worst Actress of the Year:

Okay, before we get into who wins this thing standing on her head, or dressing up like Marylyn Monroe and taking belly-dancing lessons…see where I’m going with this? Before we get into all things Lindsay, let me just say that there is no way I will ever, in a million years say anything bad about Jessica Alba. Poor pretty Jessica is nominated for not one, but two movies! Yep, that’s two movies! I will never say anything bad about Jessica just in case there’s an outside chance that yours truly has a shot. I mean, after her divorce and mine. Just kidding, wifey! Don’t change the locks! Right, the BetUS odds on Jessica are good at + 500 but she’s pregnant so I don’t think she wins. All 4 chicks from the Bratz movie have a terrific shot at taking home the Razzie and their odds are + 750. Plus, you get all 4 if you bet on them! Elisha Cuthbert was in a movie that nobody saw, Captive. I can’t throw my money away on her. My personal favorite is Diane Keaton if only because I saw the movie she’s nominated for, Because I Said So, on a plane on my way home from attending the Kentucky Derby. I won a lot of money on the Kentucky Derby, I was in the mood to celebrate, I was drunk, and there’s Diane Keaton playing mommy to Mandy Moore. Jesus, Becky! If there is hell on earth, then I was in it. But we can’t kid ourselves. The winner in this category is Lindsay “The Planet” Lohan. I call her the planet because doesn’t it feel like Lindsay just exists outside of the normal physical laws that all of us other human beings have to obey? Seriously. She’s like freaking cow jumping over the moon, that woman! Her BetUS odds are – 650. This is the easiest bet ever. The movie she’s nominated for is titled I Know Who Killed Me. Are you kidding me? Which Hollywood marketing genius came up with that title!

Free Pick: Lindsay Lohan in I Know Who Killed Me

Worst Picture of the Year:

The BetUS line on I Know Who Killed Me is – 300. I think that’s an underlay. I know a lot of people saw Lindsay’s movie on video, but nobody went to the theaters to see it. The Razzies like to make statements and giving the award to the film that truly, absolutely deserves it is boring. Nope. I think one of the long-shots takes home the prize in this category. Which long-shot? Well, Norbit would win in any other year because it is so offensive to every human being on earth, and so horribly painful to watch, that I have to almost put money on it, but I’m not going to. The odds on Norbit are great, BetUS Sportsbook odds of + 400, but I just can’t do it. Nobody saw the Bratz film either. So, it’s out. What about Daddy Day Camp? Not going to bite. A pretty bad movie, no doubt, but I can think about five or six that came out in 2007 that are worse. No way, Becky! There is one movie nominated for this award that was so atrocious that I absolutely have to put money on it and that is I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. The BetUS odds are + 1000 which are great odds considering that I can’t remember a movie that put together so many B- actors, a B actress in Jessica Biel, production values on the level of a real film, and came out so stupidly boring and offensive and just plain dumb as I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. I think the studio shot this film on Planet Lohan. That’s how ridiculous it was.

Free Pick: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Additional sports and entertainment odds can be found in the BetUS.com Sportsbook, in Futures/props, under Entertainment Props.